it's never the cute ones

OK, so I had an interesting outing last night. It was my roommate's friend's birthday and she invited us to a party and then out to an event at a dance club. The party was uneventful except for a guy taking his pants off (luckily he was convinced to keep his underwear on). The dance club was a whole other story. I didn't know anything about the event they had going on and neither did my roommate. It turned out to be a queer celebration called Vazzeline. I was happy enough to go along and see what it was all about. Well, it was quite an experience! The place was filled to the brim with men, none of whom were the least interested in me and my friends. I felt like I was at Babylon in Queer as Folk. As time went on a few women joined the party. But, the thing that I'm truly writing this post to tell you about, was that there were a couple of guys dancing buck naked in the crowd. They weren't dancing together, or doing anything risque apart from being starkers. Let me tell you, that's one way to get a little space on the dance floor, especially when you're clearly enjoying yourself. It's too bad they weren't a little more pleasing to the eye. I was mainly focused on not dancing too close to them. You just never know what you're going to end up doing on a night out in Toronto.

I gots a job!

Before you get too excited, it's only for two months. But still, it's a job, a real, paying job in the book publishing industry. The place where I'm doing my internship just asked me if I wanted to stay on for a couple of months after it finishes. Yay!! It will provide a nice buffer while I'm looking for a longer-term position. I'm so happy and relieved. Money has been getting pretty tight lately.

Also, I should tell you all that #2 and I have found a new apartment. I'm not crazy for it, but #2 loves it, and I'm sure it will be lovely once it has a new coat of paint and some personal touches. It's in a really nice area and is close to town and the subway station anyways. It'll just be so nice to be able to come home and relax and not worry that we're unknowingly pissing someone off.

Well, I'm off to bed. I think I'll have a happy sleep tonight.

*kisses*

L

here's the latest

Ok, the landlady came over today to talk to #1, who wasn't home. Turns out #1 gave written notice for June 1st and the landlady is totally ok with it. So, I guess #1 freaked out and went balistic (spelling?) for no good reason. What a surprise! She's still not really talking to us, but what can you do? Wow, it seems so much more real now. I suddenly feel sentimental about this place. Oh well... moving on ...

xoxo

Laura

Roommate Update

Well, I'm sure you've all been waiting with bated breath for an update on the roommate situation, so here it is. It's all bad, very, very bad bad bad ... you get the picture. So it went down like this: #2 and I decided to move out so we started looking for a new place while #1 was away for the weekend. We found a place we really, really liked and saw a whole lot of places that made our skin crawl. By Wednesday we decided that we would apply for the good place for June 1st and tell #1 about our plans that evening, as she had returned home the previous day.

We went for a beer before the meeting to try and calm ourselves a bit. I had to do all the talking because I seemed to be the calmest speaker. #1 was actually fine with it at first because she had decided that she was going to move out too. Unfortunately, she had decided to move out at the beginning of July. Turns out you have to give two months notice in Ontario. Who knew? Not I obviously. So then she was really angry because she was going to have to pay for June's rent on her own and she said that we had to give two months notice. I pointed out that we weren't on the lease and hadn't signed anything and that the landlady didn't even know who we were, but she wouldn't accept that we didn't have to give two months notice until she phoned and found out for herself. Anyways, she accused us of plotting against her and trying to screw her over and assumed that we'd been planning this for months and not mentioned anything. Can you say paranoid? So we decided to go out for another beer. We left to the sounds of #1 yelling at us.

I hope that our application gets accepted to our new place, but I don't think it will. I just don't look like a good bet on paper right now. I need to get a job. I think if it doesn't go through we might just agree to stay until July 1st to smooth things over a bit. #1 will be away for the month of June anyway. I don't think #2 is to keen on that idea, but despite #1's obvious insanity, I would never intentionally give short notice.

Well, that's all for now, except that I'm catching a cold because of all this stress. On the bright side, I have a date tonight. At least I'll be out of the house.

ok ok.... I'm on it

Well, I've been at my internship for a week now. It's been going fairly well. The stuff they have me doing is rather tedious, but the hours are good, the location is good and the staff are friendly. Apparently most of my classmates are doing tedious work too, so I guess that's just the way it is when you're an intern. Tomorrow I get to help one of the sales reps develop and implement a filing system for her office. Woopee, how exciting. I'm like one of the least organized people I know and I'm supposed to help someone else get organized. Oh dear.

More interesting news is happening at home. Ok, I'm gonna talk about my roommates. There are three of us living on the main floor of an old house. In an attempt to avoid confusion, I'll refer to my roommates as #1 and #2. I guess I'm #3. So, things have been a bit tense in our house for awhile. Basically, #2 and I get along really well, but we don't really connect well with #1, who we think is rather quick-tempered and moody. We sort of tiptoe around her in an attempt not to piss her off. Well, she has this boyfriend who works weird shifts and often comes and goes from our house at all hours of the night. Last Friday night he arrived at 2am and they both left at 5am. They decided to have a little fun before they left, so I was awoken by my roommate having an extremely loud orgasm at around 4am. So, it took me a week to work up to talking to her about it, and I suggested that perhaps her boyfriend could come and go by the backdoor so as not to wake us up, and that while I think sex is great, I would prefer that the noise level be kept down to a dull roar, especially in the middle of the night.

So, #1 was very upset by this little talk. She suggested that if I didn't want her to have company over I should just say so. Of course this was rediculous because I'd implied nothing of the sort. She was quite angry, so she e-mailed #2 and I to set up a house meeting for that evening. Well, let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. #1 was attacking #2 and I, saying that I made her have to be uncomfortable and we had been doing this, that, and the other thing to exclude her and treat her rudely since we moved in. #2 was in shock and was fighting back by giving examples of rotten things that #1 had done. I was trying to stay calm and trying to keep things from escalating into armed combat. It was all bad. I think the the differences in personality between #1 and #2 and I are too great to overcome and the tension in our house, which was already pretty high, has now become unbearable. So #2 and I have decided to look for our own place, something that we had actually started discussing a couple of weeks ago. We haven't informed #1 yet, because she's left town for the weekend. But, I'm sure she won't be unhappy. None of us can bear the bad vibes here anymore. It's crazy too, because it's just about people reading too much into things and conflicting personalities. Nobody's done anything horrible. Everyone does her chores, pays her rent, etc. Oh well. I'm kind of excited about looking for a new place. It will be nice to get away from this tension. Unfortunately, it means that my rent will go up, which is a big deal when you don't have an income. So now the pressure's on like never before to get a job.

Well, that's all for now. I'm pooped. Hope I didn't lose you in all the numbers.

donesville

Woo hoo!! I'm done :-) Yay! No more classes and homework and nasty tests for me. I start my internship on Monday, and I'm a bit anxious about it because I don't really understand how to do most of the stuff they want me to do. But, I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out. Hopefully my stupid hands won't be too bad. I'd like to get through this without disclosing my physical problems. No point in people thinking I'm incapable of doing the job. Speaking of which, I guess I better start looking for one of those job things soon. yik...

In other news, I met a really nice guy last week. He's off to Mexico at the moment, though, so I'll have to wait a bit for a second date. Probably a good thing, as it will keep things from moving too fast. I went out with a different guy today (I'm a shameless hussie, what can I say?). He was nice and attractive, but I wasn't really as interested in him as the last guy. Still, we may go out again. He's off on a cruise tomorrow. Why are all these guys off travelling around, going to exotic locales, while I'm stuck at home? Oh well, at least it's finally feeling like spring may be coming. I still need to wear a coat, but no more hat, scarf and gloves.

I'm finally reading A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I've heard references to this book forever, but had never actually read it. It's quite entertaining so far. It's actually sci-fi. Who knew? Well, ok, everyone except me.

Urg, I have to go to the dentist this afternoon. Yuck! I hope he/she is gentle, and can deal with a dentist-phobic person like myself. Bye!

so it's spring eh?

Could have fooled me! It just snowed again!!! Yesterday was pretty nice, but today we're back to winter. Oh well. I'm assured that eventually it will improve. Apparently global warming hasn't reached Toronto. Damn carpoolers.

Other than that, I'm doing fairly well. Wow, crazy hey? I actually had some energy today. I did my laundry and my cleaning chore that was supposed to be done by last weekend. I even bought some groceries and Easter eggs. I'm gonna try really hard not to eat ALL the Easter eggs. I intend to give them to my friends and classmates. That said, I've had about four already. They're just small, though.

I think I'm feeling better because I'm almost done classes. Tuesday is the last day, and all I have left to do is update my portfolio and study for one final exam, both of which need to be done by Tuesday. Yay!

My social life is very busy this week. A friend from school invited me for dinner last night. Tonight I'm going out for coffee with Monica. Tomorrow I have yet another first date (cross your fingers that he's at least normal). Friday night is my cousin's birthday party. At least I have the energy to enjoy it.

xoxo Laura

It took me awhile to grow bored of this hobby

I haven't posted a picture in a bit, so I thought I'd
throw up another old one for you. Figured you might
be amused to see that cupboard investigation wasn't
just a one time event. It looks like I may actually
bake something this time. My poor mother.

The Madness Continues

Two more weeks of classes! Can you say stress? I'm excited about only have two weeks to go and horrified about trying to get everything done in that amount of time. I'm trying to learn how to aim for a "B" so as not to go off the deepend with my perfectionist tendancies that lead me to sit frozen in front of my computer because I'm not sure how to do the assignment. It's survival time.

My hands are getting worse and it's hard to type for any length of time, which is not helping the whole homework accomplishment thing. I shouldn't be typing this right now, but whatever. I'm trying not to stress too much about this, as it just makes my hands worse and probably isn't good for the rest of me either.

I have another appointment at the hospital today. If the doctor isn't there this time I'm never going back. He's just going to tell me I'm fine anyways. It's such a waste of time and energy. It's weird how you get sucked into the medical system and even though you know that there's no point in going along with them, you can't seem to help yourself. I think it's their aura of authority and the fear that there may actually be something wrong with you. Well, clearly there are lots of things wrong with me, but I don't think any of them is related to my heart.

I found out where I'll be doing my internship and I think it will be good. It's basically a company that does sales for about ten different publishers. They sell the books to the bookstores etc. I hope I like it, because it doesn't seem like I'll be able to use my hands well enough to do editing any time soon. Well, maybe once the stress of this semester is over, my hands will go back to normal.

Anyway, that's all for now. Kind of a depressing post I suppose, but that's my life right now. Hopefully it will become more fun soon.

Hello silent and fomerly silent readers

Wow!! I'm so excited that you guys are all reading my blog. Kinda makes the whole thing seem a little more worthwhile. Hi Zooey, if you're a friend of Jenn's you're a friend of mine and I'd love to hear more from you. Hello Leone and Coral, nice to hear from you guys again.

Well, to fill you in on my life today, I'm at school and my magazine editing teacher (you'll recognize him as my much lamented magazine writing teacher from last semester) is not feeling well today so we got out of class early. I'm not sure why I bother going to that class anyways. Well, to be honest, I often don't go. But, I don't like to miss more than one of his classes a week. I think there were 14 of 41 students present in class today.

I have to go and pick up my heart monitor today. Then I have to wear it for two days. This is unfortunate timing, as I have a first date tomorrow night. Hopefully it will be a discreet heart monitor so that I won't have to go into any explanations about how I'm falling apart. Not good first date conversation. Well, who knows if I'll even go on the date anyways. The guy felt he had to qualify the date, in two different e-mails, as just a "casual and conversational" cup of coffee. So, of course I was thinking "yeah, cause I was anticipating a marriage proposal." Naturally, I had to make a wise-ass comment. I mean he mentioned it twice, I couldn't very well help myself could I? So I said that I thought casual and conversational was a good idea because I just hate those coffee dates that are intense and silent. Do you think he'll e-mail me back? Ah well, I'm getting kinda fed up with this whole dating thing in any event. I have enough stress in my life as it is. I don't need to add to it.

Well, I just heard that all the rest of my classes for today have been cancelled because my instructor's sick. But, I have to stick around to go to appointments and such. I guess I'll work on all of my looming assignments. Or, at least one of them. I need to make some sort of schedule for myself so that I can feel like I have some control over one part of my life.

and they call it a break

Well, in the interests of not losing the only person who seems to be commenting on my blog these days (Hi Jenn!), I figure I better write something. I just had reading break, but it wasn't very breaklike. It was crammed full of homework assignments and physical malfunctions: I threw my back out last Sunday and passed out and got to go for an ambulance ride on Monday. The ride was fun, but waiting in emergency for 10 hours sucked ass. Anyways, my back's feeling 65% better now and I haven't even thought about passing out again. The docs couldn't find anything wrong with me, so hopefully it was just an anomaly. I have to get a heart monitor thingy to wear around for a couple of days anyways. I feel tired and I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. On the bright side, I managed to get through the final season of Buffy, so I finally know how the story ends. It's crazy, though. You rent a season for a week, which is like 22 episodes that are an hour long each. Watching Buffy became my part-time job for the week. Well, I guess I better get to bed now. Gotta get up bright and early :(

Disco Diva

I went to an Electric Circus theme party last night.
It was a blast. Thought you might like to see my
outfit. The hair was a big hit. Too bad I closed my
eyes in the photo. Oh well, you get the idea.

Little Angel

Apparently taking everything out of the cupboards was
my favourite pastime as a child. This is one of the
many photos I scanned to include in a small book I'm
making for my Mom's Christmas present. I think we may
as well call it her Mother's Day present at this
point.

You know when you have so much to do that you can't
even remember what you should be doing? That's where
I'm at right now. Arg! I must accomplish something,
anything. Ok, kicking myself off here now.

Kisses to everyone,

Laura

blogging on

well, I'm waiting for my friends to show up (they're an hour late!) so I figured I'd post something. They're sure to show up almost immediately now. In any event, I haven't posted much lately because I've been rather unhappy and just didn't feel like sharing the misery. I ended up breaking up with the guy I was seeing (takes a lot of restraint not to refer to him as the @$%#& I was seeing). So, I was rather upset about all that. Also, I've been having some health problems (not life threatening, but pretty lousy all the same).

Anyways, I'm feeling much better now. My health problem is still there, but I have an appointment to see a specialist at the end of February, so at least my doctor is trying to do something about it. As for dating, I'm back on the horse already. I thought about hiding out for awhile, but I figured it might be more theraputic to meet some new people who actually want to spend time with me. I'll let you know how it goes. Needless to say, I'm determined to go at a snail's pace and just have fun and date lots of different people without getting serious about any of them too soon. Well, that's all for now. I can't believe my friends are still not here. I have to befriend some more prompt people.

Hallowe'en photo

Here's a pic of me and my good friend Monica in our
costumes. I was a killer bee (you can only see the
bee part in this photo). Monica was a black cat. I
know it's a bit late to be posting this pic, but I
finally got it scanned, etc. so I thought you might
like to see it. Plus, I haven't posted a picture in
forever.

I'm makin' an effort

I've been chastised (gently) for not posting often enough, so I'm just gonna keep posting stuff at more regular intervals even though I feel like I don't have much of interest to report. Here goes. I have a lot of homework. There are four assignments due this week :( I'm supposed to be working on the one that's due tomorrow. It's three quarters done, but it's rather boring and I don't wanna do it. Lately, I'm trying to figure out exactly what area of book publishing I should go into. I've always thought editorial, but I was turned off by all the mousy looking, librarian types who seemed to be working in that area. I'm not ready for Northern Reflections just yet. I think I may have judged to hastily, though. I've met some more hip editorial people in the last couple days, so all may not be lost.

Romantic update: the guy I was seeing did a bit of a freak out a couple weeks ago because he went too fast and scared himself silly. So he was a toad and didn't call me for a week after telling me everything was fine. I was pretty pissed off by the time he did call (after I finally called him). But, I agreed to go out for dinner with him if only to tell him off. Needless to say we had a very important discussion. He acknowledged his bad behaviour and appologized profusely and I decided to give him a second chance. We've decided to slow things down a bit. I'm not too sure, as yet, what that entails. But, we're dating again anyways. I'm trying not to take it too seriously and just see what happens.

Well, that's all for now. Time to get back to reading my book and feeling guilty for not doing my homework.

Laters

no snow drift can defeat me

Just wanted to let you all know that my new snowboots rock!! When I first bought them I though maybe it was a mistake because they say that Toronto doesn't really get that much snow, blah, blah, blah... But, I was sick of having wet feet and wet pant legs from what snow we did get. Anyways, we've have mega snow for the last three days and I've worn them every day and they've been great. My feet stay nice and dry and warm; I don't slip; and, I can truck on through any kind of slush or snow pile. In fact, I think it's great fun to go through the deepest snow just because I can.

On the relationship front, all is chaos: anger, pain, distress, confusion. But, that's about normal right? Anyways, what does it matter when you have great boots?

*snuggles*

Laura

My nose froze

I experienced the inside of my nose freezing, for the first time ever, yesterday. It took me a while to figure out what the problem was. It just kinda feels like you have a bad case of boogers. Not pleasant. It didn't take me long to realize that I have to put my scarf over my nose and mouth to avoid this problem. What with the wind chill factor here, it's about -30, which is definitely the coldest I've ever felt.

In other news, school is very busy and a bit stressful, but I like the momentum that we have this semester. I'm starting to worry about getting a job. Having not worked since March, I'm having a hard time embracing the possibility of work. It's crazy too because people want to get a resume from you and do an interview even if you just want to volunteer for them once a week. I'm trying to give you free labour here people, come on!! I can only imagine what trying to get a paying job is going to be like.

In the romance area, things are unsettled, but ok. The guy I was seeing did just have a crazy time last week. He was really stressed out about work. His camera ($80,000) has a problem where it's dropping pixels and it needs a new part ($10,000), so he's understandably distressed. I think my main problem is that we met online and it's just a different kind of place to meet someone, so you're even less sure about how things should happen. Basically, I want to suggest to him that we suspend our accounts and just see each other, but we haven't really been dating for very long and it just seems so serious to be talking about being exclusive. But, we're at the point where I would feel pretty devastated if I saw him out with someone else. So, I guess I just need to talk to him about it. I wish I felt more comfortable talking to guys about relationship stuff. I guess I've just been shut down so many times in the past that I'm a little scared.

Ah well, I've done lots of stuff that I was afraid to do and I'm fine. It can't be as terrifying as bungee jumping. Well, I guess I've blathered on long enough now. It's supposed to be a web log not a web novel right?

Waiting for the call

Alright, what is it about dating that turns perfectly "normal" people into paranoid basketcases? After a perfectly lovely weekend, my guy said he'd call me on Sunday night or Monday. After not hearing from him on Sunday night, I decided that he shouldn't have to be the one to call me all the time, so I called him. He didn't answer so I left a message. He never returned my call on Monday. You must, of course, realize that I was distressed from the time I left the message, checking the phone for messages repeatedly even though I'd been there and would have heard it if it rang. I finally talked myself down at about 10pm and reminded myself that I had a good life and I didn't need some guy to call me and reaffirm my worth as a human being. So, today when I got home from school there was a message from him saying that he was sorry he hadn't called me back yesterday, but it was just a really busy, crazy day. He asked me to call him back when I got in. So, I called him back and got his answering service again. I left another message. That was at 3:30pm and it's now 10:30pm. He hasn't called back. I can only assume that he never wants to see me again and is just toying with me for fun (that's the paranoid me talking). In truth, I'm sure he's just had another crazy busy day and hasn't had a chance to call back. But, rational thought doesn't make me feel much better. I hope this doesn't happen again tomorrow. This is the part I hate about liking someone.

Havin' my bloggy butt kicked

Well, you tell me Coral. I'm truly a lax blogger. I'll try to do better, but go ahead and remind me from time to time. Ok, let's see. Well, New Years was a total right off. I just sat at home and with my roommate and her boyfriend and watched DVDs. They went to bed at 11:30, so I had no one to say "Happy New Year" to. I phoned home and said it to my dad and stepmom even though it wasn't New Year's yet for them. That made me feel a bit better.

I went skating at an outdoor rink for my birthday. I've never been skating outside before, so it was really cool. There were about nine of us and we had a lot of fun. I fell on my butt, of course, but that's half the fun.

School started again on Thursday and we already have assignments and presentations due next week. There's nothing like jumping right in to clear out the cobwebs of a long vacation. It's nice to be back to school, though. I was getting pretty bored just hanging out by myself all the time.

Ah, big news on the dating front. I've met someone that I really like. He's 35 (no more cradle robbing) and the same height as me (yay!) and he's so thoughtful and generous and kind. He also likes to get out and do things. He's a cameraman for
TV and films and he loves his job and is very busy with it, but he still has the energy and enthusiasm to go out and have fun with me.

So, of course, I can't help wondering what's going to go wrong. I'm really excited and enjoying the adventure, but part of me is holding back, anticipating doom and destruction. I guess it's the legacy of relationships past. Of course, if something hadn't gone wrong in those relationships, I wouldn't be getting to experience this one. I'll try to let go and enjoy the ride.